Monday, January 5, 2009

528: Galeholt's Assault

Sir Lucius here....
Another miserable year, but Ellidyr and me must do our sworn duty to count Edar and fetch his bride to be and mother of two of his children, Valerie, from the Trond lands. I am praying that this will be the last time I will ever have to go to these far north lands. Ellidyr is already impressed with the trip. The mountains and the cold, the strange people and animals, and we havent even reached our destination yet. I will show him where the dragon of Trond fell, and where its lair was. I hope there is fair weather on our return so that we may make our Count a happy man and return his family safely. Ellidyr is a strange one. He shows a monks piety sometimes. Never speaks of marriage or women. He says that women are too often the downfall of men, and that a perfectly logical man acts like a dumb beast and becomes a slave to a wicked pretty face. What a doomsayer! And he is still so young. He has intention to ask Edar to foster one of his children. He believes he can shelter the child from the confusing influence of too many women and he can show the child the important things, like respect for the Lord and how to excel at arms. A perfect balance of the two most important things on earth , he says! .......what a bloody lunatic!He is a good lad but A bit unhinged I fear.At least His skill at arms is coming along well under my guidance. He might just make a name for himself if he can stop fearing women so much. Maybe I'll talk to Edar and recommend he get Ellidyr to marry soon. That will show em!






SirArddur Ap Brandegoris here............
What a year. My Lord Sir Colgrevance who I have been a squire to these last 6 years petitioned King Arthur that I should be knighted, so the King let my Lord knight me. It was just after the visit by Sir Galeholt. People were afraid there might be trouble from the arrogant Irish Warlord, and sure enough by the end of the year word was brought to court that Galeholt has sacked Surluse and taken Sorhaute castle at Galloway in Gorre! Bastard! I am young but I am ready for action. My father made a name for himself in Britian and I intend to as well. After all it was my father's hard work and loyalty that gave me my opportunity to be raised as first page then squire at Camelot. I have never wanted for anything and have been given the best training a knight could get, and was squired to a knight of the Table Round. A lot is expected of me and I will prove myself. Next year I will return to Leicester and report to my Lord Edar. As my father was a loyal servant to him and his household, so will I be, holding only my King Arthur above him. I just hope I am worthy to have recieved all of these gifts. How I wish I could have helped my Lord Arthur more this year, but He had me assigned to Garrison duty and patrol. Not exciting as NO ONE is foolish enough to attack my great King in his own Homeland! Next year Ihope to destroy all enemies of my King that are foolish enough to come within arms length of my Axe!!!!!!!



Sir Bledri weighs in:


By the beard of Fightin' Jesus! Pomitain! What a terrible little island. I hope I never set foot there again. I also hope Galeholt and the rest learn their lesson. You don't cross King Arthur, and you sure as hell don't cross a Leicesterman, let alone a Candlebee. I have my flaws, but letting people slight me and mine has never been one of them.I wonder if we shall ever meet the real versions of the imposter Round Table knights we fought? Those black knights were powerful foes. If not for the now-standard brand of ass-kicking that one can expect from Sir Amadis, I fear the boat we were being loaded into was bound for a malign port. Ah, I'm getting ahead of myself. You see, we were retreiving the sacred water of a sacred spring from and old fort. This was on the island of Pomitain. This sacred water was to dispell the terrible curse laid upon the Crimson Lake on that same island. So, accompanied by my fellow Leicestermen as well as four (Four!) other Round Table knights, I set off to find this spring. Well, (punny!) we found it. I chose to enter the old fort at night. We left the squires and one round table knight outside. I would come to regret that, for after we emerged, we found our squires slain and horses stolen away. The blackguard traitor Round Table knights turned on us, and revealed that they were only disguised. Demetrius, that snake, took the water from me. We had back-ups, which was good, since It seems I cursed my eldest son to get it. A promise to a weird little faerie thing is still a promise. Oh, I had to pass tests issued by this little elf thing to get the water. A riddle, a strange courtesy test I barely understood but still passed, and a promise to put my eldest son in danger.Anyway, Morgan, the King's sister was behind this thing. Weird. So Amadis nearly saves our bacon after we are all but he overwhelmed. I hear he jumped his charger onto the boat! Incredible! Amadis will be Round Table in no time. But we were all imprisoned. Sir Lancelot bailed us out and then just ran off. A rather abrupt fellow, but you can't argue with results. Ok by me.Oh, and our tests to escape the enchanted forest! Everything was dreamlike. I chose the test of Justice. I was to solve the disputed charge of murder by poison. Well, since we all know trout pie is harmless, I knew it must have been the apple pie! Bellflowers, indeed! Well, the lord of that strange land was all wishy-washy, so we settled the matter like gentleman: at the edge of a sword. God decided the victor: me. So, all you kids out there, eat your trout pie, and stay away from that apple pie. stick with fresh apples!!!

Sir Bledri drones on some more:

The whole reason we were on Pomitain was to observe Galeholt and his conduct, to see whether or not he weilded ehough power for Arthur to recongnize his lesser kingship of Ireland. Now, all of you listeners out there know how much I hate that stinking Mick bandit Maelodran. I half wish Galeholt had gained dominance in Ireland, for he had promised me that he would see Maelodran hung. Ah well, looks like I will have to eventually boat over there and kill him myself. Though god knows how I will. That magic spear is unstoppable.So. Galeholt gets a bunch of his cronies together, they hatch a secret plan, while in Leicester no less, and try to go grab land in King Arthur's protection. These guys! Really! It's one thing to try to conquer some land, at least that's pretty straight forward and standard. It's quite another to do it after you specifically say you won't, the way Galeholt said to us that he would not attack anyone in Arthur's domain. That lying dog. But honestly, they thought they could attack and take land in a region that has successfully resisted decades of assault from Saxons? Foolish. It will end poorly for him and his minions.Oh, Amadis was the only other of we four Leicestermen to complete his test. His was one of Valour. Apparently the Wyvern is half as strong as the black annis, for Sir Amadis dealt with it quickly. Yet I know Sir Amadis is a humble sort, so if he said the fight was over quickly, it was. Indeed he had not a scratch on him.Cynfyn, knight of the medlar, nearly succeeded. His test was of vengeance. A Lady required the deaths of three brothers who killed her husband and stole their lands. He slew two, but the third overcame him. A good man, Cynfyn. Three on one is a difficult fight for any knight.Aidan... well, at least after failing all the twisty-turny, confusing religious questions (I admit to not knowing as much as I should) Sir Aidan resisted the sinful advances of the strange shapeshifting faerie thing. If I have learned one thing from hearing about that old Pagan Sir Gwair, its that most of the time its better to keep it in your pants...Now i am looking forward to handing Galeholt some steel justice. hopefully all the fighting won't be over before we can muster. That guy has a few things to answer for. Hopefully I can send him into the next life where he can answer properly. And Fightin' Jesus? Don't let him off easy.

Sir Amadis Here -
I am proud to say that Leicester has its own Round Table knight, Sir Bledri! We are all immensely proud, even though Arthur spoilt the ceremony by also naming a Pict to the Round Table. I killed a wyvern and saved my companions from Lady Morgan and an ensorcelled Sir Bleoberis.
My poor lady Desdemona caught some sort of women's flux and spent a long time recovering. No pregnancy, though my lady swears she is fertile. It will come in time, I am sure. She has put her mark on Hartshill, the manor my lord Idar gave me to be my own, setting it up in fine Roman style. The only thing I insisted on was an apiary. And while my lady runs the manor, and my older brother is my steward, I take care of the apiary.

2 comments:

Adam said...

Sir Bledri weighs in:

By the beard of Fightin' Jesus! Pomitain! What a terrible little island. I hope I never set foot there again. I also hope Galeholt and the rest learn their lesson. You don't cross King Arthur, and you sure as hell don't cross a Leicesterman, let alone a Candlebee. I have my flaws, but letting people slight me and mine has never been one of them.

I wonder if we shall ever meet the real versions of the imposter Round Table knights we fought? Those black knights were powerful foes. If not for the now-standard brand of ass-kicking that one can expect from Sir Amadis, I fear the boat we were being loaded into was bound for a malign port. Ah, I'm getting ahead of myself. You see, we were retreiving the sacred water of a sacred spring from and old fort. This was on the island of Pomitain. This sacred water was to dispell the terrible curse laid upon the Crimson Lake on that same island. So, accompanied by my fellow Leicestermen as well as four (Four!) other Round Table knights, I set off to find this spring. Well, (punny!) we found it. I chose to enter the old fort at night. We left the squires and one round table knight outside. I would come to regret that, for after we emerged, we found our squires slain and horses stolen away. The blackguard traitor Round Table knights turned on us, and revealed that they were only disguised. Demetrius, that snake, took the water from me. We had back-ups, which was good, since It seems I cursed my eldest son to get it. A promise to a weird little faerie thing is still a promise. Oh, I had to pass tests issued by this little elf thing to get the water. A riddle, a strange courtesy test I barely understood but still passed, and a promise to put my eldest son in danger.

Anyway, Morgan, the King's sister was behind this thing. Weird. So Amadis nearly saves our bacon after we are all but he overwhelmed. I hear he jumped his charger onto the boat! Incredible! Amadis will be Round Table in no time. But we were all imprisoned. Sir Lancelot bailed us out and then just ran off. A rather abrupt fellow, but you can't argue with results. Ok by me.

Oh, and our tests to escape the enchanted forest! Everything was dreamlike. I chose the test of Justice. I was to solve the disputed charge of murder by poison. Well, since we all know trout pie is harmless, I knew it must have been the apple pie! Bellflowers, indeed! Well, the lord of that strange land was all wishy-washy, so we settled the matter like gentleman: at the edge of a sword. God decided the victor: me. So, all you kids out there, eat your trout pie, and stay away from that apple pie. stick with fresh apples!!!

Adam said...

Sir Bledri drones on some more:

The whole reason we were on Pomitain was to observe Galeholt and his conduct, to see whether or not he weilded ehough power for Arthur to recongnize his lesser kingship of Ireland. Now, all of you listeners out there know how much I hate that stinking Mick bandit Maelodran. I half wish Galeholt had gained dominance in Ireland, for he had promised me that he would see Maelodran hung. Ah well, looks like I will have to eventually boat over there and kill him myself. Though god knows how I will. That magic spear is unstoppable.

So. Galeholt gets a bunch of his cronies together, they hatch a secret plan, while in Leicester no less, and try to go grab land in King Arthur's protection. These guys! Really! It's one thing to try to conquer some land, at least that's pretty straight forward and standard. It's quite another to do it after you specifically say you won't, the way Galeholt said to us that he would not attack anyone in Arthur's domain. That lying dog. But honestly, they thought they could attack and take land in a region that has successfully resisted decades of assault from Saxons? Foolish. It will end poorly for him and his minions.

Oh, Amadis was the only other of we four Leicestermen to complete his test. His was one of Valour. Apparently the Wyvern is half as strong as the black annis, for Sir Amadis dealt with it quickly. Yet I know Sir Amadis is a humble sort, so if he said the fight was over quickly, it was. Indeed he had not a scratch on him.

Cynfyn, knight of the medlar, nearly succeeded. His test was of vengeance. A Lady required the deaths of three brothers who killed her husband and stole their lands. He slew two, but the third overcame him. A good man, Cynfyn. Three on one is a difficult fight for any knight.

Aidan... well, at least after failing all the twisty-turny, confusing religious questions (I admit to not knowing as much as I should) Sir Aidan resisted the sinful advances of the strange shapeshifting faerie thing. If I have learned one thing from hearing about that old Pagan Sir Gwair, its that most of the time its better to keep it in your pants...

Now i am looking forward to handing Galeholt some steel justice. hopefully all the fighting won't be over before we can muster. That guy has a few things to answer for. Hopefully I can send him into the next life where he can answer properly. And Fightin' Jesus? Don't let him off easy.